The Writer's Eye

As a long time fan of the Final Fantasy Series, I consider it my job to keep up with these things. Final Fantasy XIII is the latest game to be released in a franchise that changed the RPG genre forever. Having already been released in Japan, most of us in America (myself included) know a fair bit about the game.

It implements a new version of an older battle system and has some of the best graphics and voice-acting out of any RPGs released to date. While Final Fantasy XII for the Playstation 2 got relatively low reviews for it’s different take on the story, Final Fantasy XIII reviews have been positive overall. Many of us were recently blown away by the international trailer, which I will be presenting below this post. The first 30 seconds were bad, and the music was corny, but overall the trailer was enough to make gamers all over the world want this game more than any RPG since Final Fantasy X all those years ago. Final Fantasy XIII is scheduled for release on March 9th, 2010 at the usual price of $60. For the first time ever the series will have the game on multiple gaming consoles (both Playstation 3 and Xbox 360).

What is there to say about Surrogates? The answer: not a whole hell of a lot. For an action movie it had very little publicity, and when you look at the amount of money it made, you feel that everyone involved in the making of this movie lost money.

Bruce Willis was the one bright spot in a movie with a script bad enough to put you to sleep. I have been a fan of him since his performance in Die Hard (remember that one?). Since then he has come to deliver powerful performances in movies like Armageddon, Tears of the Sun, the Die Hard sequels, and much more. As always, his acting is top notch in this movie, but the bad plot and horrid pacing drown it in a sea of awfulness.

Surrogates got off to a strong start, but it did what so many other action movies tend to do these days: It took an original concept, ran with it, and ruined it. The original idea had a ton of potential, but as the movie progressed it became nothing more than a snooze-fest.

Basically, people don’t leave their homes anymore. Ever. They lie in a chair all day and control these androids (Surrogates) with their minds. You can see the appeal. No fear of injury, a drop in crime, ugly people becoming pretty, etc. But like all great things it had its faults, and eventually I came to realize that this movie is sort of like Irobot 1.5

What starts off as creative storytelling soon blurs into one mind-numbing action scene after another. There are few twists in this movie (save for one), and on the whole you feel like they are insulting your intelligence. The ending can be seen coming from a mile away, and as the credits began to roll I was just anxious to pull the damned thing out of the drive and pop in something better. This flick isn’t even worth the price you pay for a bag of popcorn. If you have to watch it, then at least try not to think too much of the plot, and enjoy the action alongside Willis’ superb acting.

Surrogates (2009): 3.7/10

I’m going to be honest with you. I was never truly a fan of Star Trek. I never saw any of the old movies, and frankly, I never cared to. Therefore, when I first saw an unbelievably vague teaser trailer for this movie, I paid it very little mind and went on about my business.

Fast-forward a few months, and several new trailers have been released. Nerdy fans that spent their time worshipping the old movies immediately went into hissy-fits, bashing the movie by nitpicking at every little thing. Having no knowledge of the original movies, I saw the trailers and immediately vowed to see it, and so I did.

Nobody saw this coming! A remake that captured the audiences of theaters everywhere with it’s dazzling special effects, intriguing plot, and all-star cast. I personally got hooked on this movie less than ten minutes in, and it wasn’t just because it opened with an eye-popping battle. J.J Abrams is well known in the world of science-fiction for the hit series ‘LOST’ (of which I am a fan). His talents show throughout the movie, but the abundance of sci-fi material does not take away from a story that can attract viewers of every age.

We start out with Captain Kirk’s father, who has been temporarily named captain of the U.S.S Kelvin in the wake of an unexpected disaster. In the twelve minutes of his role as a captain, he saves 800 lives, including that of his son. It’s this scene that sets the tone for the rest of the movie. We watch as both Kirk and Spock separately grow into two very different young men, until the day their paths finally cross.

The first impression that most viewers (including myself) got from James Kirk was that he was an arrogant, self-absorbed jackass that didn’t really care about anything. That is, until he gets drunk at a bar and runs into Pike, the current captain of the U.S.S Enterprise. After that everything changes, and we are zoomed forward in time 3 years, stopping just in time to see a still-arrogant Kirk cheat on his test to become a captain.

His ignorant little stunt lands him a suspension, and so he is forced to sneak aboard the Enterprise when duty calls. This small event leads to a big one, and before we know it everything collides. Kirk, Spock, and Pike all find themselves in the same dreadful situation, and if they want to survive they will have to overcome their differences and learn to work together.

Star Trek does a pretty good job of making you like and hate both of the main characters. At one point you will hate Kirk and love Spock, then things flip-flop, and you find yourself feeling the opposite. However, as the store progresses both characters learn to work with each other (with a little help from an unexpected ally), and as a team they confront the malevolent force that threatens the destruction of a certain planet.

The only true issue I had with this movie was the gimped fight-scenes that could have been done in a much more realistic fashion. The editing on one scene in particular was very poorly done, and it just didn’t cut it for me. It ruined what would have otherwise been a perfect moment in the movie.

Overall Star Trek is a movie with very few flaws, and it is left wide open for a sequel, which we will probably hear about sooner or later. How much you like this movie depends on how much you love the characters. Kirk’s irritating and arrogant attitude can really wear on you after a while, but about halfway through the movie he meets someone that causes him to begin changing for the better. The movie is not perfect, by any means, but it is a remake that, unlike so many others, does things right. For those that haven’t seen it, there is a theatrical trailer below the score for your entertainment.

Star Trek (2009): 9.2/10

I know that for the past few weeks this has been primarily a 'writing' blog, and I have only done things revolving around books. Starting tomorrow, that will change. Soon I will be uploading recent news, interesting events, and best of all...movie reviews.

Eldest is the second book in Paolini’s internationally bestselling series. It measures in at a massive 700 pages, and will likely have you banging your head against the wall before you’re halfway through.

We pick up right where we left off in Star Wa—I mean, Eragon. Having barely survived his skirmish with the Empire, our hero and his dragon, Saphira, are ready to follow in the footsteps of Luke Skywalker.

Like in Star Wars, Eragon is preparing to depart for Ellesmera, the land of the Elves, so that he can complete his training. UNLIKE in Star Wars, the plot in this book goes absolutely nowhere until the final 150 pages. This monstrosity of a book will leave you wondering what on earth you did in a past life to deserve such unwavering torture.

Don’t get me wrong…the book starts off strong, but like all good things it is too good to last. We’re left reeling from a great tragedy in the very first chapter of the book, during which one of the characters we’ve come to know and love is seemingly written off. Aside from dealing with this, Eragon must struggle with a cursed scar on his back that he obtained during his duel with the dreaded Durza in book 1.

Shortly after the epic tragedy in the beginning, we get to amuse ourselves as the Varden (rebels) select a new leader. In theory this sounds dull, but it’s actually well thought-out, clever, and entertaining. At this point I found myself thinking, ‘Way to go, Paolini!’. Sadly, after the Varden select Nasuada (A feisty young woman) to lead them, things take a turn for the worse, and for the most part it’s all downhill from here.

For the first time, we leave Eragon’s side, and are taken to his cousin Roran, who got left behind when Eragon fled his home after the murder of his uncle. Roran gets to prance through the book, doing the exact same things that Eragon did in book 1 (without the dragon).

Because Eragon has become such a threat, the Empire is attempting to capture Roran in order to make him cooperate. This would normally be very entertaining, if we hadn’t seen it all before. Evade the Empire, fight for your life, struggle to reach the Varden…and repeat. The only difference this time around is that instead of a vicious dragon, Roran has his entire village accompanying him. Personally, I think Paolini designed them to get in the way and not impact the story in any way. On the bright side, we still get to switch back to Eragon frequently and…

…Oh god, make it stop!

For over 150 pages we witness Eragon floating down a river and suffering ‘attacks’ from his back with Arya (Elf), Saphira (dragon), and Orik (Dwarf) by his side as he attempts to reach Ellesmera…and that’s it. They spend the entire first quarter of the book talking, traveling, and (in Eragon’s case), rolling around in agony. Him and me both.

About 250 pages in, just when we’re getting sick of Eragon’s and Roran’s crap, we reach a point where something finally happens! Eragon finally reaches the Elves, and meets his teacher, Oromis, who is a Dragon Rider…

Wait, what? That’s not right! The Riders are extinct!

Apparently not. Oromis survived the downfall of the Riders and is now here to teach Eragon how to become a warrior capable of fighting the Empire. The initial excitement over Oromis’ appearance soon vanishes behind the great big steaming pile of poo that is his character.

Instead of telling you what Oromis is like, I’m going to tell you to watch Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back, and study Yoda very carefully. Worsen his greatness by about 1,000, and you get Oromis. Oromis tries, and fails, to be exactly like Yoda.

Now we’re left with 200+ pages of Roran’s struggles and Eragon’s retarded lessons. Basically, he sits on a stump and tries to reach out and ‘feel’ what’s going on around him with his mind. Sounds a hell of a lot like the Force to me.

During his stay with the Elves, Eragon’s back is finally healed via the ancient magic of the dragons. What’s more: they give Eragon the strength, agility, and appearance of an Elf. Joy! Our character just became bi-racial.

The only reason that Eldest does not receive a zero is thanks to the fact that he manages to wrap up an absolutely terrible book with one of the best non-Harry Potter endings I have ever seen.

When duty calls Eragon leaves Master Yod—I mean, Oromois, with the promise of returning later to complete his training. Eragon returns to the Varden, and in yet another epic battle against the Empire, we are once again able to see Paolini’s true potential. In this battle, characters return from the dead, old relatives are found, new relatives are made, and we’re introduced to a new Dragon Rider. The battle had several great plot twists, and it left me wondering why the rest of the book wasn’t that good.

Overall, Eldest is a large pile of crap with a pretty ribbon on top. The beginning and ending are memorable, but everything in the middle is vomit-worthy. It’s obvious, again, from the ending, that Paolini has loads of potential, but the big question is when he is going to start using it. I found my answers in book 3, which is easily his best work yet. Eldest gets 3 botched relationships with Arya, out of ten.

Eldest (2005): 3/10

Christopher Paolini’s first book was brought to my attention by my cousin, who gave me just enough details to pique my curiosity. Upon my first reading, I found him to be a remarkable writer for his age. The material was engaging, thrilling, and entertaining…and yet, something was off.

Throughout the entire reading, I noticed there was something familiar about this that I just couldn’t put my finger on. Infuriated, I did a little research, and found that Paolini’s idea of a first book consists of borrowing a lot of ideas from other people.

As an aspiring writer, I will not, under any circumstances, put down another author. I would be lying if I said that a few of the plot elements in my first novel didn’t get inspired from someplace else. While I won’t insult Christopher Paolini, that doesn’t necessarily mean I have to be so gentle with his book.

Eragon is the first book in the Inheritance Cycle, and in this book we follow the path of Eragon, who is but a simple farm-boy who strives to become a warrior after his uncle is killed and his home is burned to the ground….Wait a minute! Why is this familiar?

Oh, that’s right. Most of us are pretty familiar with a similar story that follows the path of our one and only Luke Skywalker. That’s right folks. Paolini’s first book is almost completely identical to that of Star Wars IV: A New Hope.

As soon as I learned this unhappy fact, I immediately read through the book again. It was as entertaining as it had been the first time, and yet, all the elements of Star Wars were there…but there’s more! Paolini also borrows heavily from Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy! But enough with my rambling.

As a book, Eragon is actually pretty good, especially when you realize it was written by a fifteen year old. Eragon is the main character throughout the entire series, and we’re expected to fall in love with him from the moment he finds a mysterious blue stone while hunting in a dangerous mountain range known as the Spine.

Unfortunately, Eragon is very hard to like for the first half of the book. In the first few chapters we see that all Eragon seems to do is ask questions and annoy the hell out of other people. Once his blue stone turns out to be a dragon egg, Eragon vows to raise the beast in his nearby forest and become one of the legendary Dragon Riders. Wait a second, this is familiar too!

Eragon’s world of Alagaesia is ruled by the evil King Galbatorix, who controls the Empire, along with much of the land. After the Empire took over, the Elves and Dwarves went into hiding, and were never expected to be heard from again. Before Galbatorix’s rule, the legendary Dragon Riders controlled the land, enforcing the laws and helping people out with everyday problems.

King Galbatorix was one such Rider, until he tipped over the edge of insanity and killed everyone he had ever known. After the fall of the Riders, only 3 dragon eggs remained, and all were under the control of Galbatorix. For unknown reasons, one of these eggs was smuggled out from under his oversized nose, and when the escape attempt went awry, a mysterious Elf used magic to teleport the egg to a random place.

And who should find this egg but Eragon, the simple farmer without a care in the world? The book starts out with a relatively original plot, but that ends as soon as we finish with the story that tells us of the fall of the Dragon Riders. After this the book becomes riddled with dozens of cliché's and borrowed material from other successful authors.

In the world of Alagaesia, dragons are more than stupid beasts that serve as a mount. They can speak with other humans using their minds, and tend to be much more intelligent than we are. In theory, this is great, but that idea was used in a very successful series back in the ‘60s. For those of you who don’t know, it was the Dragon Riders of Pern series, and it essentially paved the way for all future fantasy books. After holding up one of Anne Mccaffrey’s Pern books, and Paolini’s Eragon, I noticed that even their maps on the inside pages were similar. The mountains and oceans were in the same places, but the names had been conveniently changed.

Getting past the fact that Paolini got his career started by borrowing from Star Wars, LOTR, and the Pern series, the book itself is a very entertaining read. After the death of his Uncle, Eragon goes out to seek revenge upon the ones that killed him, but all he has for guidance is a strange sword, and an old man. Hello, Star Wars. This leads to us enduring 100 pages of Eragon asking question, after question, after question. Most of his questions are rude and thoughtless, and you quickly begin to feel sorry for the old man (we’ll just call him Brom, like in the book.)

As Eragon travels he learns how to use magic, and watches as his beloved sapphire dragon, Saphira, turns into a fierce fighting machine. As we read on, we’re treated to another 100 pages of Eragon, Brom, and Saphira tracking his uncle’s killer. Fun!

At long-last we catch up to the killers only to have them get their asses kicked when they realize they’re in over their heads. What’s more: Brom, who will likely be your favorite character, bites the big one. Given the relationship to Star Wars, this isn’t totally unexpected.

While it is very sad to see Brom go, this also becomes the turning point for the book. Brom is replaced by Murtagh, a teenager around Eragon’s age with a mysterious past and bad attitude. Now that Eragon is devoid of a mentor he must learn to make decisions for himself, and I’m pleased to say that he does so very quickly.

As things begin to worsen, the plot finally begins to unfold, and the result is a book that is highly enjoyable. Eragon, Murtagh, and Saphira spend the second half of the book on the run, and constantly fighting for their lives. As their lives are threatened, Murtagh’s past is revealed, and we begin to learn just how many secrets old Brom really had!

Unfortunately even the best half of the book has its dark points. After about 150 pages of greatness, we get to watch Eragon rescue a princess, though we don’t know she’s a princess until book 2. Surprise! She also happens to be an Elf. Now, borrowing the Elf race is one thing, but Paolini didn’t even bother to make some changes to it. These Elves are an exact replica of the Elves in LOTR.

Almost right off the bat we come to realize that Eragon has a highly pathetic love interest in her perversely unconscious body. The Elf (Arya), spends approximately 200 pages unconscious, and yet even while Eragon heals her with magic we get to watch him blush and admire her figure. Hasn’t this guy ever heard of privacy?

At the end of a book that has many ups and downs, Eragon finally joins up with the rebels (known as the Varden), and faces off against the Empire. Eragon’s journey ends in an action-packed showdown with Durza, who is a Shade (finally, an original concept). After being seriously wounded, he is contacted by a man claiming to be the Cripple who is Whole. Eragon is ordered to seek him out in the land of the Elves, and the book ends on a very abrupt note.