The Writer's Eye

Eldest is the second book in Paolini’s internationally bestselling series. It measures in at a massive 700 pages, and will likely have you banging your head against the wall before you’re halfway through.

We pick up right where we left off in Star Wa—I mean, Eragon. Having barely survived his skirmish with the Empire, our hero and his dragon, Saphira, are ready to follow in the footsteps of Luke Skywalker.

Like in Star Wars, Eragon is preparing to depart for Ellesmera, the land of the Elves, so that he can complete his training. UNLIKE in Star Wars, the plot in this book goes absolutely nowhere until the final 150 pages. This monstrosity of a book will leave you wondering what on earth you did in a past life to deserve such unwavering torture.

Don’t get me wrong…the book starts off strong, but like all good things it is too good to last. We’re left reeling from a great tragedy in the very first chapter of the book, during which one of the characters we’ve come to know and love is seemingly written off. Aside from dealing with this, Eragon must struggle with a cursed scar on his back that he obtained during his duel with the dreaded Durza in book 1.

Shortly after the epic tragedy in the beginning, we get to amuse ourselves as the Varden (rebels) select a new leader. In theory this sounds dull, but it’s actually well thought-out, clever, and entertaining. At this point I found myself thinking, ‘Way to go, Paolini!’. Sadly, after the Varden select Nasuada (A feisty young woman) to lead them, things take a turn for the worse, and for the most part it’s all downhill from here.

For the first time, we leave Eragon’s side, and are taken to his cousin Roran, who got left behind when Eragon fled his home after the murder of his uncle. Roran gets to prance through the book, doing the exact same things that Eragon did in book 1 (without the dragon).

Because Eragon has become such a threat, the Empire is attempting to capture Roran in order to make him cooperate. This would normally be very entertaining, if we hadn’t seen it all before. Evade the Empire, fight for your life, struggle to reach the Varden…and repeat. The only difference this time around is that instead of a vicious dragon, Roran has his entire village accompanying him. Personally, I think Paolini designed them to get in the way and not impact the story in any way. On the bright side, we still get to switch back to Eragon frequently and…

…Oh god, make it stop!

For over 150 pages we witness Eragon floating down a river and suffering ‘attacks’ from his back with Arya (Elf), Saphira (dragon), and Orik (Dwarf) by his side as he attempts to reach Ellesmera…and that’s it. They spend the entire first quarter of the book talking, traveling, and (in Eragon’s case), rolling around in agony. Him and me both.

About 250 pages in, just when we’re getting sick of Eragon’s and Roran’s crap, we reach a point where something finally happens! Eragon finally reaches the Elves, and meets his teacher, Oromis, who is a Dragon Rider…

Wait, what? That’s not right! The Riders are extinct!

Apparently not. Oromis survived the downfall of the Riders and is now here to teach Eragon how to become a warrior capable of fighting the Empire. The initial excitement over Oromis’ appearance soon vanishes behind the great big steaming pile of poo that is his character.

Instead of telling you what Oromis is like, I’m going to tell you to watch Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back, and study Yoda very carefully. Worsen his greatness by about 1,000, and you get Oromis. Oromis tries, and fails, to be exactly like Yoda.

Now we’re left with 200+ pages of Roran’s struggles and Eragon’s retarded lessons. Basically, he sits on a stump and tries to reach out and ‘feel’ what’s going on around him with his mind. Sounds a hell of a lot like the Force to me.

During his stay with the Elves, Eragon’s back is finally healed via the ancient magic of the dragons. What’s more: they give Eragon the strength, agility, and appearance of an Elf. Joy! Our character just became bi-racial.

The only reason that Eldest does not receive a zero is thanks to the fact that he manages to wrap up an absolutely terrible book with one of the best non-Harry Potter endings I have ever seen.

When duty calls Eragon leaves Master Yod—I mean, Oromois, with the promise of returning later to complete his training. Eragon returns to the Varden, and in yet another epic battle against the Empire, we are once again able to see Paolini’s true potential. In this battle, characters return from the dead, old relatives are found, new relatives are made, and we’re introduced to a new Dragon Rider. The battle had several great plot twists, and it left me wondering why the rest of the book wasn’t that good.

Overall, Eldest is a large pile of crap with a pretty ribbon on top. The beginning and ending are memorable, but everything in the middle is vomit-worthy. It’s obvious, again, from the ending, that Paolini has loads of potential, but the big question is when he is going to start using it. I found my answers in book 3, which is easily his best work yet. Eldest gets 3 botched relationships with Arya, out of ten.

Eldest (2005): 3/10